Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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