I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Slut skills are useful in every country.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
