He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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