The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize