hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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