Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
