He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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