So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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