She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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