So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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