I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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