Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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