I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
