She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
