my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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