he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize