I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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