My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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