you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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