yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
