Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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