I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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