if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i now understand why vodka
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
