K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
false alarm, still single
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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