it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
did i just pee glitter
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