You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
