It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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