i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
