your parents love me but you hate me
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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