I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
