ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
