Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
