thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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