Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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