tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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