At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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