Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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