I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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