M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
