You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she smelled like a LAN party
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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