chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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