Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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