What a fucking waste of an outfit
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
