Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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