i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
