just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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