White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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