guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
