I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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