Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
