Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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