Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
