he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
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his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
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Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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