If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
