Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
