do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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