My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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