3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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