Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
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