I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.