Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This girl is more easily done than said...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
so much tequila, so little girl.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him