epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out