I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.