I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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